#gay ass divorced ass bitches

[reyolfx]

cas: i already apologized to you. you just refused to hear it.

dean: sorry i brought it up. maybe if you didn't just up and leave us.

cas: you didn't give me a choice. you couldn't forgive me. and you couldn't move on. you were too angry. i left, but you didn't stop me.

me: bitch what the fuck

[aloneonceagainaspredicted]

the fact lyrics like

you got me down bad to feel your touch, you put my body through pain and i confuse it with love

your voice so clear like you say my name, got me runnin' for my life like this shit's a game

are playing as william and zeke drive towards what will be their first step towards their own special game is so fucking personal to me, the home of sexuals did it again

[p2iimon]

drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me

[theinfinitedivides]

the sh*t that Pyeong Hwa has been through and is still going through,,,,,,,, someone give me the number of the ex-boyfriend bc if i see him in the streets it's over. i am taking him out balls and all he can forget about f*cking anyone else over ever again. where's Ga On and his slightly horny torture dreams of his boss i need surgeon Yo Han back real quick for this one

[lilacsolanum]

WHY DID YOU TAG ME?????

im so glad we have cards for this kind of thing now

[kyri45]

*cleans the blood from hands* I warned you guys wouldn’t survive this (bc I didn’t either)

Shadowpeach Bio Parent AU (PREV / FIRST / NEXT )

i’m just- tired of fights, I think these emotionally constipated bitches got to fight enough. It’s finally time for the Un-divorce Arc (Also glamour-less Wukong my beloved, I can give you all the scars I want)

these two gay ass monkeys have so much work to do. An apology wont fix everything but it surely is a start.

Have my fav sad OST to listen to while reading this.

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Finals

Propaganda Under Cut

Sakura Haruno

Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.

My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 

What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime

[respectthepetty]

scared of your thoughts on fk - i think they confuse their friends & each other - feels so intricate

You asked about one specific pair, but . . .

You opened a floodgate!

I already wrote that I like fan service; therefore, I like First and Khaotung's special brand of teary-eyed fan service. However, I also wrote that JoongDunk are my GMMTV favorites because Joong is always hyping up his homies, and Dunk stays Pretty Boy Petty.

So I'm excited to see all four promote The Heart Killers when the show is ready to be released since I think it'll be a hoot watching First and Khaotung call each other best friends with tears in their eyes while Joong sits next to them commenting on how banging Dunk's body is and Dunk openly agreeing that his body is, in fact, banging. Joong and Dunk are always firing shots at First x Khaotung for no good ass reason, so I'm thrilled they will get to do it to First and Khaotung's faces for an extended period of time.

Because to me, most fan service is good since it allows people to see people of the same sex casually being affectionate with each other without the belief that it should be shameful or hidden, so give me all the styles of GMMTV fan service! Give me Force x Book's eighty year friendship, Pond x Phuwin's nerdy fashion model energy, Earth x Mix's marriage and divorce era, Tay x New's fist fights over dessert, Off x Gun's evolution of skinship, Jimmy x Sea's intellectual companionship, Gemini x Forth's "fuck it, we ball' attitude, and all the other 31 Flavors of Branded Pairs the BL world has to offer us.

Because I really do not care what these men do or do not do or if it is real or not. What bothers me is these companies (not just GMMTV) encourage this behavior, then when fans get toxic, the companies leave the actors to deal with the fallout. I also don't like that out actors aren't as well protected and even straight actors and their girlfriends are targeted by fans, which only encourages queer actors to stay closeted while delivering a queer performance and for straight actors to feed into this mind fuckery by being in a pseudo-monogamous relationship with their acting partner which is an extension of our heteronormative societies and their belief that affection can only be reserved for one person.

So my thoughts on First and Khaotung are irrelevant because I'm going to like all these pairs regardless of what they give me. Max and Tul were as open as possible about Max having a girlfriend and Tul being gay, yet that in no way influenced how I enjoyed their fan service. Yin and War have stated several times that what they do is their job, and I'm still clapping every time War chokes Yin. And as much as I truly believe Mos and Bank are married, if they came out today and said they actually hate each other and cannot stand the sight of each other, I'd be proud at their acting skills all these years because I have faked liking my coworkers for a lot less money.

As a Catholic and a slut, I think there is a great sociological study here about how branded pairs help with queer representation regardless if the people in the pairs are queer or not, yet how the pairs must still fit into a digestible frame of traditional (hetero) relationships with affection only being given to one person forever and ever until death (or their contracts) do them part.

So First and Khaotung aren't the only ones confusing people because this entire setup is confusing. They aren't creating some intricate strategy but these companies are. These actors are just out here telling their homies they look cute and going on (hopefully) company-sponsored trips. And if they like it, I love it.

Because I've been pretending to like Karen from Finance for years when I can't stand that bitch, yet I still have a job that pays my bills, so "get it how you live it."

And make it a little queer along the way.

[chaosology]

lurking

sam kerr x reader (social media)

my works feedback??? disclosure here

liked by mothery/n, harrie4ever and 10,890 others

enews Looks like Y/N Y/L/N and Harry Styles have officially called it quits - read more at the link in bio (📷: TMZ)

mothery/n finally OMG

heyharry why are mum and dad divorcing

y/nlovies shhhh guys let her cook

user188 hot girl summer INCOMING

barbiegirl ready for her to confirm her girl kisser tendencies 🍇 🍉 🍏 🍊

y/nrrymylife WJAT

liked by samanthakerr20, y/n20 and 933,451 others

barbiethemovie Let’s go party! Coming to a dreamhouse near you this Spring 😉

y/nofficial 💕🌸💄🎀🍬🦩🩰🎟️

harinef Hi Barbie!!

y/nofficial hi barbie 😋

yelenamygirrrl OMFGGG

alyssa23 um HELLO?? we knew the casting was perfect but wowow

zendaya 😚

troyesivan y/n showing up for australia, HOT

y/nofficial always 😉

loversfilm She’s Aussie??

mothery/n yes wtf how did u not know this

liked by y/nofficial, samanthakerr20 and 233,679 others

matildas This Barbie is leading Australia this WWC 🏆 We love samanthakerr20

y/nofficial 🫶

y/l/nkisses wtf her gay ass doing here she don’t even follow them she just LURKS

mothery/n leave her be omg 😭

samanthakerr20 ayeee

mackenziearnold 👏

tillies23 collab of the year

fowlersrealgf barbie marketing doing the most

liked by kerrkisser, stylesandy/l/n and 2306 others

mothery/n Y’ALL SHE REMOVED HER LIKE??? gay lil bitch… also fuck off enews n dailymail the ss are MINE

kerrkisser my 5 min of fame omg

abieloise ok but she never confirmed her sexuality. straight girlies can appreciate her too!!

mothery/n nah look at her. she likes girls idc

kerrkisser ur so real for this

liked by kerrkisser, mackenzzzi and 8700 others

mothery/n does anyone remember this interview?? i don’t think she’s in it for the soccer guys 👀

mackenzzzi HAHAHAA she’s in it for the babes

stylestoday she’s literally not even gay guys

yelenababy ok harry fan 😚

dreamydrea that’s MY barbie, she’s for the girls iktr

20kerr_20 I think Sam and her gf broke up… soooooooo i guess we’ll see what happens?

samanthakerr20 started following y/nofficial

y/nofficial started following samanthakerr20

[weird-an]

"How did you know you were gay?" Wilson says when she brings her a veggie wrap and a bag of chips.

House perks up in her seat, nearly dropping the wrap. "What?"

She wonders if it's Christmas already. Did Wilson finally stumble across the word "comphet"? Around two divorces later than expected?

Wilson rolls her eyes, but she's blushing a little. Interesting. "You've heard that correctly."

"When I fingerbanged my bestie in High School. Sleepovers were fun and very wet," House offers a hint of the truth, enjoying Wilson blinking and muttering "Jesus" under her breath. "Why?"

"Your best friend?" Wilson asks, choking a little.

She didn't have one before Wilson. House was a lonely kid and a fucked up teenager.

"Are you jealous?" she teases - just to be a pain in the ass. "Don't evade the question, Jamie. Why?"

"I'm not, I mean- I'm your best friend," Wilson can't seem to get the sentence out.

This is fun.

"Do you want me to finger bang you?" House asks. "Wanna give pussy a try?"

Honestly. She dreamt about it so often, she could pull off a whole show. If she's burdened with introducing Wilson to homosexual pleasures, she'd to it. For the country, science or whatever.

"No, I tried that," Wilson says, very much annoyed.

- House gapes at her.

"I didn't," Wilson admits after a heartbeat. "It's just nice to rile you up."

Only Wilson can do that. This is why House wants to stay with her forever. Therefore, she says: "Bitch."

"I'd… like to try it though." Wilson bites her lips. House wants to bite them, too.

"Buy me dinner first."

"I'm always payin'."

"I'll pay you back in orgasms."

"Deal."

[randomtheidiot]

Warriors rewrite AU shit.

An AU where I take all the bad stuff in Warriors and make it good.

-Firestar is now a sassy bitch with anxiety-related anger issues. I remember rereading the first series and seeing how sarcastic and Fucking Done he was with everything and… I’m keeping that. He’s a snarky, funny guy now and the reason Bluestar doesn’t listen to him is because he’s blunt and abrasive. Let the man say Fuck.

-Sandstorm is no longer a generic hot girl. She is a grown ass woman with her own character and she Does Shit. She doesn’t immediately fall for Fire after he saves her and their relationship feels real. She is also three times the size of her husband. This is important to her character, trust me.

-Graystripe’s shit gets called out and he and Fireheart are Divorced by the end of Forest Of Secrets, with Longtail becoming the deputy after Whitestorm’s death. Instead of the subplot in Firestar’s Quest being about the ghost romance bullshit, it’s about Gray trying to rekindle his relationship with Fire.

-Tigerclaw is no longer pure chaotic evil. He has a motive beyond “get power” and it’s actually pointed out in the story that Bluestar sometimes makes questionable decisions, like making Fire and Gray warriors three moons early, apprenticing Cinder and Bracken to said underage warriors and generally not listening when she’s called out for something. Also, he kills Lionheart, who dies in the second book instead of the first.

-Smudge is actually upset about Rusty leaving and he tells all the other kittypets that Rusty got kidnapped by wildcats, which makes tensions between kittypets and clan cats even worse. Fireheart rarely goes near twolegplace anymore.

-BloodClan has been changed significantly and Scourge has received a complete overhaul. He’s brought into the story much earlier and his relationship with Tigerclaw is much more complicated. The reason he wants the forest territories is because among other things, there’s a TNR program in the city and his wife got spayed. He’s also a much better leader now, and the reason Barley left is because of how badly BloodClan was being affected by twolegs. Scourge is also really fluffy. Like, Cloudtail fluffy. This is important to his character.

-Bluestar is a flawed character. That is okay. Flawed female characters are a good thing, Warriors Fandom. There is nuance to her situation and she isn’t just some pure evil bitch. She is also gay for Yellowfang.

-Yellowfang is roughly the same, but her relationship with Raggedstar is actually called out as abusive. She also has a found family dynamic with Blue, Fire and Cinder.

-Cinderpelt actively chooses to be a medicine cat because she saw how Yellowfang treated her broken leg and began to look up to her as a role model. No more ableism. :)

-The Spottedfire crush thing is dead and buried and the Thistleclaw situation is handled much more delicately. Also, because Spottedleaf’s Heart ruined Thistleclaw’s character and his dynamic with Snowfur, I am swapping him out for a different character, probably an OC. You’re welcome.

-Snowkit lives but Speckletail dies. Neither of them can exist at once, it would damage the timeline irreparably.

[mother-harkness]

Agatha Harkness is here, you little bitches.

Don't bother me, and I'll stay out of your way (maybe..). And no, I'm not divorced, although I probably should.. hmm..

THE COVEN

@theeegreenwitch - my amazing wife who's lowkey mentally stable but she's gay so i don't blame her

@winemothercalderu - she basically lives at my place, surprisingly high alcohol tolerance for someone so old

@alice-wuing-ur-ass-lol - oops.. looks like someone's back from the dead, that wasn't my fault at all

@kalekare - she's scamming people and she knows, does it so proudly too I'm almost impressed

@cansomeonetakemetotheroad - billy, wanda's brother, she was a real bitch but hey, at least her son isn't as bad

@nickythescratching - oh my son, a mess, but i blame his other mom's genes

@cassie-mun-the-daughter-of-death - oh my daughter, she'll do great things if boys (or girls?) don't distract her

@speedy-toby - tommy, billy's brother, he's barely around but he steals everything. ugh. thank god i have Lilia to babysit all these boys

This is a roleplay blog. My main blog is @hermslore . Please dm one of the members to join our roleplay.

[tequiilasunriise]

Being in fandoms where the characters are clearly based on other pieces of media/famous figures is so much fun because then some of my ships look like this:

Parentified Goldilocks who is also The Beast x Avoidance attachment Beauty who is ALSO also The Beast, one of my fav moments with them is when they off the Minotaur together who is ALSO also also The Beast

Little Red Riding Hood if she was also the Wolf and has galloons of repressed trauma x Snow White but she’s heavily knight coded and the poster child of daddy issues

Edgar Allen Poe’s Lenore x Annabel Lee but they’re in gay ghost love

The poem ‘The Last Rose of Summer’ x Odin’s raven Huginn but they’re exes still in love in a milf yuri divorce that ends super mega tragically and domino effects mommy issues out the ass

Historical figures Cleopatra x Frida Kahlo with the most chef’s kiss height difference you’ve ever seen

A polycule with Joan of Arc x Mulan x Thor x Achilles but they’re all genderbent/trans

The Velveteen Rabbit x fashion icon Coco Chanel if she was a lesbian with a gun

Frankenstein’s monster x a different sapphic Cleopatra bc baby gays <3333

Okay okay that black cat from Poe’s, well, The Black Cat x Poe’s Eulalie is cute yes

But I actually really REALLY love Poe’s Eulalie x Poe’s Berenice bc they’re “me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic” personified

The Snow Queen with mega daddy issues x Robin Hood if he was a socialist lesbian I SAIDDDD ITTTT

Imma say it historical figures JFK x Confucius were adorable bros

Aesop’s Fisherman x Odin’s other bird Munin you will always be famous my tragic old man yaoi <////3

Y’all will really have to hear me out here when I say Cinderella if she fucken snapped x ice cream Mad Hatter because couples who are terrible to each other but in a “only I’m allowed to be a horrid to them” way can be so funny

And I could go o n fer ages but the point is imagine explaining these ships to someone like 30 years ago with ZERO context their heads would explode and it’d be so funny

[t0ast-ghost]

Umm STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE THOUGHTS!!!!

You thought this series was dead and buried? Well maybe it is. This may stay in my drafts forever. But I suppose if you’re reading this it’s not.

Warnings for a flashing gif

and spoilers (obviously)

So enjoy and forward we go:

- They kinda just make you watch stars with nice background music for *checks time* two minutes and fifty seconds (no, there are no credits during this time)

- I’m so hyped for this, the credit music is so nostalgic and amazing

- Tron ass graphics <3

- Evolved Klingon design! Let’s go! Also they’re speaking Klingon which I think star trek is super proud of creating

- It’s so alien (as in the movie alien)

- Is that the lizard head rock from the Apple? No it’s Vulcan- damn what’d they do to Spock?

- It’s giving the dark crystal or labyrinth

- THEYVE GOT A VULCAN LANGUAGE?! I mean I knew they would but they created one for the first movie???

- When the Vulcan Master (it’s what imdb calls her) is reading Spock’s mind then the shot goes back to her face and she looks down and there’s a fucking vine boom and she smiles slightly at him like ‘THIS FUCKER IS HAVING GAY THOUGHTS’

- Jim is calling him <3

- It’s interesting how they pronounce Spock’s name differently

- Life is a Dream is my favourite song (It’s the one with the horns)

- Omg hi Kirk hi

- They gave him another Vulcan? Kirk must miss his husband so much

- imagine ten years after your favourite show ends, they make a movie and there are all your favourite guys again! I would have screamed

- Hiya Scotty

- Kirk looks so unhappy. Hmmm wonder why

- Aww this is such a cute conversation between Kirk and Scotty

- KIRK GETS TEARS IN HIS EYES SEEING THE NEW ENTERPRISE OMG. HE LOVES HER SM

- This is the slowest fucking shuttle ever

- I like how there’s just guys floating in spacesuits around

- ….Welp that’s over now. The ship has docked. Finally.

- oh the elevators are just voice controlled now. No handles.

- OMG HI UHURA!!! HI CHECKOV! HI SULU!!!

- Kirk’s about to go fire someone. This’ll be fun.

- Yeah Decker does not take this well. Kirk is just a petty bitch who loves his ship too much and definitely misses his husbands

- WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Wha- who- no wonder people don’t like using transporters that’s horrifying

- OMG THATS JANICE RAND!!!

- Kirk has turned into the idiot admiral that he used to hate dealing with

- OMG HIIIII BONES HES GOT A BEARD. They drafted him???? Wait no. JIM BROUGHT HIM BACK hehe

- “Damn it, Bones. I need you. Badly!” He missed his husband so he made him come back to fight a war

- That was such a normal moment between Kirk and McCoy. Sooo normal. I’m normal about it. Sooo normal.

- THAT LITTLE DUDE IN SPACE JUST DID A FLIP

- hi bones hi

- “Jim. You’re pushing.”

- They gave McCoy a better perch, he’s got a railing that’s closer to Kirk now

- time to ask: what is happening

- “Tor-pe-do away!” The slow voice really added to that

- Why is McCoy just there on his knees?!?

- Bones is NOT happy to be here. This is why he divorced Kirk (he’s still married to Spock though)

- McCoy can see that Jim is being unreasonable. But what is that stance and why aren’t they looking into each others eyes? (Edit: not sure what stance I’m talking about but yeah, why aren’t they?)

- It’s been 50 minutes literally nothing has happened except reintroductions

- HI SPOCK HIII HES SO HOT WHATS HE DOING HERE?

- damn why’d Spock just ignore Chekov like that

- Jim is so desperate. He wants this man so bad. He’s like literally starry eyed

- For Chekov this is like the worst high school reunion ever

- HI CHAPEL HAIII

- damn why is Spock ignoring his husbands :(((

- Bones looks so sad. He missed Spock

- Kirk and McCoy are about to interrogate their long gone ex husband. “Will you please sit down.” This is pretty much exactly what it would be like if they got divorced and didn’t see each other for awhile. Spock is trying to separate his emotions from the situation, McCoy is trying to be playful but sneaks in a question about what he’s been doing, and Kirk just wants them back he’s so desperate

- Not gonna say what I’m thinking cause I think that would be disrespectful

- “I believe they may hold my answers.” “Well, isn’t it lucky for you that we just happened to be heading your way?” “Bones! We need him. I need him.” Jim if you say that while staring into Spock’s eyes it’s a bit queer (happy pride month)

- They got the new Apple watches

- Spock is pulling a Deanna Troi

- They brought back Spock to wear the finest eyeshadow and serve silent cunt

- Shapes and colours by the likes of which I’ve never seen!

- I like how Bones just came onto the bridge FOR NO REASON but to kinda look shocked when Kirk was about to do something silly

- Most of this movie feels like, ‘look at this cool set/effects thing for a very long time’ and they are cool

- I now truly understand what a ‘long shot’ is

- Uh oh Kirk. Your husband got zapped!

- huh? whuh? Why’d it take Ilia?

- Everyone that comes onto the bridge takes a second to go what the f-

- Wow that’s just a pussy- *gets schmacked*

- Did Spock just fucking blue screen?

- just noticed Kirk in short sleeves <3

- ILIA BURST THROUGH THE WALL

- Why did they replicate her into high heels

- I love Star Treks idea that love can bring anyone back. Like if anyone is dead and someone loves them enough there’s no way they’re staying dead. And if you bring up Tasha, technically she didn’t die right there and then. And if you bring up Jadzia, fuck you

- What is Spock doing, why’s he mutineering

- They successfully contacted Ilia. There’s something so sad about it being her but not her at all

- Omg. Spock why would you do that?

- “That’s Spock. Damn him! Bring him back here.” Gotta wrangle your husbands

- I was going to say something about pussy and then Spock said “penetrated” so-

- Pussy so good you get blasted backwards- I’ve got to stop

- Spock laughing omg omg

- jaw dropped. That was gay. That was so gay!

- I like how Kirk just has these two guys around to explain things to him

- “It knows only that it needs, commander, but like so many of us, it does not know what.” Do you need something, Spock? What are you trying to say? Do you need the love of your husbands?

- HES JUST GONNA BLOW UP THE SHIP???

- I got legitimately jumpscared by Spock’s tear

He’s really pretty tho and they’re observing him

- “Is this all that I am? Is there nothing more?” This is the greatest moment in the whole movie thus far because it goes back to really what star trek is about. Talking about life through aliens.

- He’s bringing his husbands with him awwe

- woah how are they on top of the enterprise?!Okay I guess this is happening now

- VOYAGER??????????? Oh wait this is a real ship, isn’t it?

- So Decker is going to sacrifice himself to join with V’Ger, isn’t he?

- He rolls back to his husbands

- “As much as you wanted the Enterprise, I want this.” Jim did really want the enterprise, but he also just wanted love, same with Decker, they both just want their loves back.

- Shiny

- Kirk and McCoy staring, jaws dropped like, ‘What is this shit?’

- “And a lot of foolish human emotions, right, Mr. Spock?” “Quite true, Doctor. Unfortunately we will have to deal with them as well.” THEY’RE FLIRTING AGAIN YES!!!!

- It’s a little funny that Spock definitely arrived on the ship ready to stay. Like he cut his hair and everything just to see his husbands.

- “The human adventure is just beginning” what does THAT mean?

Well okay. Time to watch Wrath of Khan, I guess. I hear it’s better…

Masterpost

[freakyelf-ontheshelf]

STARDEW VALLEY HEADCANONS! PART 1!

Starting of real quick with my wife: Robin (divorced edition).

-Only remarried because she was in an extremely vulnerable state and Demetrius WAS charming at the beginning.

-Exclusively wore braids until her senior year

-Has a bad relationship with her mother due to her career (and later on love choices) and form of her expression, never being feminine enough.

-Loves Maru as much as Sebastian and would do anything for them, after the divorce she still cares for Maru (sort of canon?)

-She's a very chill and free-spirited mother, always letting Sebastian express himself as he pleased (although still worries sometimes that his non chalante attitude is actually more serious than it appears)

-After her divorce and her sister Veronica moves in, Robin starts to slip away from the ladies group, trying to find herself again, she feels very lonely truly (until the farmer shows up that is)

-She's a bit shut off to romance, specially not knowing she likes women, but the farmers charm, hard work and interest in her warms her up suprisingly quick

-I'll move on now because I could talk about this bitch for days ngl

Okay, Alex now!:

-Obviously closeted gay man

-Is terrified of what his grandfather would say once he comes to term with his sexuality

-Truly thinks the male farmer is just his newest best bro (goofy ass)

-Grasps on to the idea of being a professional grid ball player because deep down he thinks he's got nothing else going on for him other then his strength and physic.

-Everyone thinks Haley and Alex are going to end up together but they've been out to each other since highschool, letting people believe as they please

-Haley came out first after a girl in her cheer team kissed her drunk at a party, the next day when Alex did it she cried when she realized she felt nothing like the girl did and ended up telling him

-It took Alex 'till the male farmer moved to realise he himself was one, although every single sports magazine he has has a manly oiled up shirtless guy on the cover...

-Whenever he argues with the farmer he stops and thinks "am I my father?".

-Suprisingly, he's quite jealous, thinking MF has more then he brings the table, he likes to make sure EVERYONE knows they're dating

-In the summer, once he's closed up to the farmer, he expectantly waits for him everyday at the beach before going to his ice cream stand

-He gives his farmer ice cream for free in the summer, and when he can't go see him because of work he takes one home and leaves it in the cooler for him

-Actually a softy himbo, just has a lot of comphet

-Really ends up enjoying farm life due to all the physical work (and watching his husband work in the hot sun)

-His favourite movie is Top Gun and his favourite show is Dance moms (and thats final)

-Whenever he trains listening to music it's timberland 2000's cunt music (sadly is an imagine dragons enjoyer as well)

THAT'S IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! YIPPY

[gomacave]

I have some questions for you about advent children which are

1-What do you think of Loz, Yazoo and Kadaj?

and

2- How gay is it, what do you think about sfkr in that film?

YESSS OKKKK this is gonna get sooo fucking long buckle up

I FUCKING LOVEEEEE THEMMMMMMMM THEYRE SOOO 🫶🫶🫶im like omg the sillies...! one second and then the next second im like.

LITERALLY. KADAJ MAKES ME SO FUCKING. SAD. doomed from the beginning. pulls all my hair out and vomits. seph was propped up as a false messiah and kadaj was propped up as seph its like. both of them are denied legacies and identities because of how trapped they are by the circumstances of their birth. like their births determine the trajectory of their lives AND ITS ESP TRAGIC CUZ THE TRIO R LITERALLY LIKE THREE DAYS OLDDDD.... seph was a grown ass adult and could have chosen to resist at any time but kadaj is a three year old teenager. kills msyelf. what do you fucking do hes the smudged charcoal on the other side of a drawing thats already an imitation of something from life. NOT TO FUCKING MENTION BRO NOT TO MENTION. THE WAY HE DIED. CLOUD HOLDING HIM UP PIETA STYLE WHAT IF I KILLED MYSELFFF GRRAHHH. offered mercy by ur executioner after being used as a vessel for a battle much larger than you that swallowed you up. the biblical allegory goes crazy bc the same way jesus was born to die i believe kadaj was born to die. the narrative requires him to die for cloud to have his rematch and to become a vessel for cloud's metaphorical demons (sephiroth)

i also rly like the idea that kadaj is more human/childlike than seph and post ac au when seph returns she returns with memories of having been kadaj. with all the insecurity and teenagedness and rawness of being removed from a godly existence. (in a similar way to where some ppl believe jesus/god in christian belief incarnated as a human to know what it was like) And also with the memory of being held by cloud in that way 🤠👍

Also @dykesferatu has a big brain beautiful interpretation where kadaj contains elements of cloud (the insecurity, desire for (motherly) validation, desire to prove himself etc) and is proof that seph contains elements of cloud the same way cloud contains elements of seph (s cells and stuff) I LOVE IT A LOT... THEYRE MIXED UP..... They're forever leaving scars and parts of themselves inside each other... Guh....

Loz and yazoo r so cute and cunty also.... I wish we had more of them :oT id ego and superego if they slayed....

2) ok time to go crazymode. ITS GAY!!!! ITS GAY!!!! ITS GAY!!!!!! ITS GAY AS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My godddd. The geostigma thing is so fuckinh gay acting like its a hickeyyy 😭😭😭😭😭 "you got rid of it 😈?" GIRL. ITS A DISEASE NOT A HICKEYYYY THEYRE SO WEIRDDDDD sephs obsession w leaving her mark on cloud is insane (she is the mark) also casually confessing that she wanted to sail the universe with a barren earth w cloud specifically is so 🤮🤮🤮 GAY SEX WOULD BE LESS GAY. God. The way she sounds turned on by cloud getting stronger 😨😨😨 like howd u get so strong <333 and clouds like stfu none of ur biz LIKE HELLO??????

God also ac idea that seph can only come back through cloud is so. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 Guhhhhhhh... GUGHGGGHHH... LIKE WHEN SHE STARTED GOING OFF AB THE GEOSTIGMA I WAS LIKE BITCH STFUUUU WE ALL KNOW WHY UR GAY ASS IS BACK. Thematically ac works well for me too. Not in a way where i think it directly is connected to the og game but its a good addition. I believe that seph will always come back (in some form) because shes a metaphorical wound on cloud. And wounds may heal but they still generally scar and ache and never really go away fully. So cloud has to learn to live with her. So im a sephiroth always comes back truther. Until they reach a truce or equilibrium of some sort. (Preferably this equilibrium involves them kissing) I love divorced vibes they give off too where this godlike angel of death comes back bringing destruction and this guy's like "🙄🙄🙄 ughhh fucking you again. GO AWAY" DIVORCEDDDDDD!!!!!